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Will You Ever Be Enough..

Will You Ever Be Enough..

long gone
my father
comes to me
in dreams
whispering reminders
of my compromises
and my failings

shall I be pleased
that he still cares
enough
to nudge me
beyond my fears
or will I allow
the waves of my inadequacies
churned into a froth
by his memory
wash over me
leaving me half-drowned
and gasping
clinging tenaciously
to my small accomplishments
against the receding years
pulling at my life

will I ever be enough
in his brown dominant eyes
or in my own
recessive blues
almost 60 years later
haunted still by
the measure of
whom he believed
I should be
and my own yearning
to be worthy

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